If you'd like to thank Stevie G for last night's goal, you could do worse than patronize his restaurant at 30 West Street, Southport (telephone 01704 544 662). Matthew Norman of the Guardian did just that. Sworn to not uttering a bad word about Warehouse lest it put Gerrard off his game, Norman and his friend passed on the Footballer's Special - no, not a go on Vanessa Peroncel but a three-course menu comprising [holds sides] prawn cocktail, steak and chips and Black Forest sundae - plumping instead for à la carte.
'The decor is a paean to eclecticism'
"I began with that cocktail, and admired the bold decision to use what the pliant texture suggested were expertly thawed shellfish when Morecambe Bay, home of our finest shrimps, is just up the coast. My friend relished his Southport chowder, dwelling on how the wateriness and indistinct flavouring cleverly allowed the accompanying rasher of salty bacon total dominion. The two oriental starters we shared – seductively flaccid chilli salt squid and delectably flabby spare ribs in a pleasingly feckless honey and star anise sauce – would not have disgraced a Waitrose TV dinner."
You get the picture. No?
"I had miso-marinated black cod with a radish salad, and if Walkers crisps could capture that essence in its new range, Gary Lineker would be ecstatic. My friend loved how his Moroccan lamb shank, couscous and smoky aubergine relish nimbly eschewed any depth of lamby flavour that might have clashed with an enticingly bitter marinade. "Brilliant," he said, "how everything gives the impression of good food, in the way Michael McIntyre gives the impression of being funny." That Black Forest sundae was delicious, and there were no complaints about an apple crumble sundae with calvados. "What I particularly adore," said my friend over the dregs of a refreshingly tart house wine, "is it's the first restaurant I've been to where I haven't the faintest idea what it wants to be. It's wonderfully enigmatic. Perfect."
