Wednesday 29 April 2009

Saturday 25 April 2009

BRiGHTON FESTiVAL 2009















blood stick by anish kappoor


that's nice, dear.

Friday 24 April 2009

DAVID BENTLEY

wishes his replacement good luck

WHO'S WHO?

barry humphries ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: nick griffin

CONSERVATIVES SHOOT BLANKS

in its attempts to woo the unemployed voter, the conservative party has decided to go right to the heart of every jobseeker's world, the job centre. so it takes out a google ad whereby each time someone searches for job centre plus on google, it comes up with a small advert on the right hand side, bleating about the budget, together with a link to the conservative party's website.

problemo! no jobseeker in their right mind, let alone with a computer, would type in job centre plus using three separate words. yet if you type in the actual name of the website, jobcentreplus, or even , more traditionally, jobcentre plus, the advert does not appear. sacre bleu!

a swift tutorial may be in order informing conservative party members, in particular its PR department (and now, over to smearer), of the merits in addressing correctly the destination of their potential clientele.

and you would have thought that the tories, of all people, would be aware of the advantages of shooting blanks.

Friday 17 April 2009

RUPERT EVERETT R.I.P.


Thursday 16 April 2009

GORDON APOLOGISES

oh god! what's dave going to do now? the totally inadequate leader of the completely ineffective opposition has nothing to do. the do-nothing party has nothing to do. quick, someone announce that labour plans to immobilize electric wheelchairs or something, see if we can get him to shout "i don't know . . ." again.

Wednesday 15 April 2009

CULTURE CLUBBED











Hardly distinguishable from the Tory Party of Old, Dave's all new, happy, smiling Conservative party pledges a fairer, greener world through a happier, fluffier system of politics.



Such is his commitment to fluffiness that he has now demanded an end to the putative culture of smears, backroom plots, lies and general spin-doctoring within the very hub of government, number ten Downing Street.



Speaking to the Telegraph today, Dave proclaims that members of the Labour Party “have forgotten … how they are meant to behave”. When asked whether Gordon Brown knew anything of the emails, Dave states that he “did not know” but was confident that the country needed new political leadership so to “stop this kind of nonsense”.



Taking into account recent polls, Dave is set to be in government at the end of next year’s general election. As such, the tabloid newspaper industry may struggle to remain relevant amidst Dave’s perfect record for nicety and fluffiness – or should they?



In 2006, Ali Miraj (a Tory councillor and would-be MP who instigated Dave’s leadership campaign) expressed concern over Dave’s apparent reliance on box-ticking and gimmickry. According to Mr Miraj, his comments prompted Cameron to descend “to a level where he is launching a smear campaign [against me], and that is very sad”.



Similarly, later in that year, Cameron branded the UK independence party “fruit cakes” and “closet racists”. This came as the UKIP said it would use the Freedom of Information Act to try to force him to reveal backers who had secretly lent the Conservatives money.



Euro MP Nigel Farage said: "For Mr Cameron to resort to this combination of petty name-calling and disgraceful smears is hardly a statesmanlike approach for someone who hopes to become the next but one Prime Minister.”



David Cameron’s comments on the so-called “culture of spin-doctoring and smears” within the Labour Party and subsequent demands for an apology from Gordon Brown may, in this light, seem a little ironic.

Tuesday 14 April 2009

SMEAR CULTURE

David Cameron has demanded a reform of Downing Street's "culture" after a government adviser sent e-mails about slurs against leading Conservatives.

look . . . will somebody please just give this man something to do?! thank you.

SO THE BANKS KNEW ALL ALONG!



Sunday 12 April 2009

FEDERICO MACHEDA

oh god! an italian that c&m are being compelled to like.

does this herald the end of screaming "dirty, lazy, cheating, italian bastards" during the world cup?

no. probably not.

EASTER SUNDAY

Thursday 9 April 2009

HMS PINAFORE * * *

theatre royal, brighton


what a hoot as john savident and friends romped through this enjoyable load of old codswallop. and wait a minute . . . wasn't that maisie trollette in the audience of alcohorlicks anonymous?!

THIS WEEK'S WANK FODDER






















"glamour modelling isn't that glamorous"

Wednesday 8 April 2009

BLAIR ON MANDELSON

(if you see what i mean) in attitude magazine

He [Tony Blair] added that Business Secretary Lord Mandelson, one of his closest advisers during his time in British politics, had suffered from anti-gay prejudice "in some quarters".
But Mr Blair also said: "His [Mandelson's] career is interesting in both senses in that he's attacked in certain quarters for being gay, and yet, at the same time, also, I don't believe that has altered in any shape or form people's opinion of him. What those comments indicate is that the prejudice is still there, but what they also indicate is that its force is very weak, really. Because people like him or don't like him, but it's not based on his sexuality."


that's right, heterosexuals and homosexuals think he is a smarmy old faggot.

smarmy adj (smarmier, smarmiest) colloq
1 ingratiatingly flattering or respectful.
2 nauseously suave or charming. that's the one.

apparently he has the mark of forceps on his head after being dragged out of his mother's womb kicking and screaming. why on earth they thought he'd want to experience a vagina round his neck, god only knows.


Tuesday 7 April 2009

HOW GREEN WAS MY VALIUM

More anti-depressant drugs are being prescribed to patients in the south Wales valleys than anywhere else in England and Wales, new figures show.

funny that!

Monday 6 April 2009

THAT'S WHY FOOTBALLERS

become professional players, to play games like this.
sky commentator during cardiff v swansea

yes, of course they do, dear.

EARTHQUAKE ITALIA

". . . building after building has been left destroyed or half standing with cracks and holes. . ."
how can they tell?

abc: is that a crap interpreter or is berlusconi really that stupid?
pmc: well, given that they're both italian anyway . . .

there's a helicopter hovering over brighton. the authorities must have mistaken it for an italian disaster zone.

an italian walks into a library wondering what book to ask for.
then it hits him.

OBAMA SEEKS STRONGER TURKISH TIES

well, they have to be better than the ones he wears at the moment.

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planetpmc (The Company) has produced this "blog" for the general entertainment of the public. It contains information gathered from various sources and, although The Company believes it to be accurate at the time of publication, The Company accepts no responsibility for, and makes no representation nor gives any warranty or undertaking express or implied as to the accuracy or completeness of the data.

Sunday 5 April 2009

PLANETPMC

is a collection of articles and images that I have seen or read, enjoyed and wanted to share.  If any article or image causes offence please let me know and I shall consider removing the item.