Hardly distinguishable from the Tory Party of Old, Dave's all new, happy, smiling Conservative party pledges a fairer, greener world through a happier, fluffier system of politics.
Such is his commitment to fluffiness that he has now demanded an end to the putative culture of smears, backroom plots, lies and general spin-doctoring within the very hub of government, number ten Downing Street.
Speaking to the Telegraph today, Dave proclaims that members of the Labour Party “have forgotten … how they are meant to behave”. When asked whether Gordon Brown knew anything of the emails, Dave states that he “did not know” but was confident that the country needed new political leadership so to “stop this kind of nonsense”.
Taking into account recent polls, Dave is set to be in government at the end of next year’s general election. As such, the tabloid newspaper industry may struggle to remain relevant amidst Dave’s perfect record for nicety and fluffiness – or should they?
In 2006, Ali Miraj (a Tory councillor and would-be MP who instigated Dave’s leadership campaign) expressed concern over Dave’s apparent reliance on box-ticking and gimmickry. According to Mr Miraj, his comments prompted Cameron to descend “to a level where he is launching a smear campaign [against me], and that is very sad”.
Similarly, later in that year, Cameron branded the UK independence party “fruit cakes” and “closet racists”. This came as the UKIP said it would use the Freedom of Information Act to try to force him to reveal backers who had secretly lent the Conservatives money.
Euro MP Nigel Farage said: "For Mr Cameron to resort to this combination of petty name-calling and disgraceful smears is hardly a statesmanlike approach for someone who hopes to become the next but one Prime Minister.”
David Cameron’s comments on the so-called “culture of spin-doctoring and smears” within the Labour Party and subsequent demands for an apology from Gordon Brown may, in this light, seem a little ironic.
