Thursday 16 September 2010

Planetpmc welcomes the pope

This morning, Pope Benedict will fly from Rome to Edinburgh where he will meet the Queen and take part in the St Ninian's Day Parade through Edinburgh, travelling in the Popemobile. Then it's off to Glasgow to celebrate mass in front of 100,000 people, during which he will have to suffer Susan Boyle's singing not once, but twice. That is surely enough to guarantee his passage to heaven. He will then fly to London to meet the staff of G.A.Y. before settling down for the night in one of the establishment's "VIP" rooms. 

His more flattering side

Over the next two days there's a few more masses, meetings with religious and political leaders, a trip to St Mary's College in Twickeham, a visit to an old people's home, an open-air vigil in Hyde Park, the blessing of a statue of "Our Lady of the Taper" (along with a mosaic of St David that the Welsh are bringing with them so as not to feel left out) before letting his his hair down with a quick sherry in one of the many bars around Vauxhall. Finally, the pope will travel to Birmingham to beatify Cardinal Henry Newman [has anyone told the Pope that Newman was gay? Just a thought - Ed], before flying back to Rome.

The government is picking up the tab for policing all state visits. All other costs, including travel and accommodation, will be split between the taxpayer and the Catholic church. The original bill to the government was estimated at £8m; that had risen to £12m in August and may rise still further to near £20m. There are also concerns that the Catholic church is struggling to raise the £8m it requires for the pastoral elements of the visit. Presumably it's a bit late in the day to ask for a loan from the Vatican Bank – one of the wealthiest private banks in the world, although one that has recently come under scrutiny by Italian financial authorities over accusations of money-laundering. So this may be a bad time. Then again, with Berlusconi as prime minister ...

The pope is as catholic in his prejudices as he is in his faith. Never a shrinking violet even before he was elected to the papacy in 2005, he has managed to insult just about every one. He's pissed off Jewish people by considering Pius XII, the wartime pope who refused to condemn the Nazis, as a candidate for beatification; he's said the prophet Muhammad had brought the world "things only evil and inhuman"; and he doesn't even really consider Protestantism a proper religion. Then there's homosexuality, women's rights and Aids – Benedict's not at all keen on the first two, and promotes the latter with his opposition to the use of condoms. And whereas he doesn't really approve of paedophilia, he's been accused of covering up crimes committed by Catholic priests. And if he hasn't got round to anything you care about yet, just give him time.

If you would like to join in the event at Hyde Park, London, you can find details here.