So there we have it. Or not. We have decided not to elect a government. Ninety-seven new Conservative MPs and ninety-one less Labour MPs, the Limp Dames oddly losing five. George Galloway, Lembit Opek and Jacqui Smith are out, Esther Rantzen, Nigel Farage, Philippa Stroud and Joanne Cash all failed to replace the incumbents they chased, yet that fucking idiot, Jacob Rees-Mogg (the one that once took his nanny out canvassing with him in the Bentley), was just one of seven Old Etonians to gain a seat for the Tories. Bizarrely, Hazel Blears and Chris Grayling both held on to their seats.
Caroline Lucas - pitching her look somewhere between Joe Orton and panto
Talking of shame ... Brighton Pavilion. The first "Green" MP in the country. What the fuck?! Get real, people! Caroline Lucas is a self-obsessed career politician who has made an industry out of "Green" and completely pulled the wool over your eyes. Are you still so fucking stoned from the sixties that you can't tell the difference between red and green? She chose her moment, didn't she. Choose a constituency where a Labour MP is retiring, a city that is desperate to be famous for something other than its 'gay scene' (a Wetherspoons pub with a pink lightbulb, to be precise), move there, pitch your look somewhere between Joe Orton and panto and Bob's your transgender uncle. I give her till the next election. Which will be soon, won't it? Won't it?!